10 Years and Counting

Dear Chad,

Ten years ago today, I was a 22-year-old recent college grad, putting on a white dress to walk down the aisle toward my future.  At the time, ten years seemed like such a long way off.  I had no idea where we would be, what we would be doing, how much we would have/have not changed... but I never doubted for a second that we would love each other any less.  I wasn't worried or anxious.  I was curious.  I knew when I decided to marry you, I was signing up for a lifetime of love, stability, challenges (the good kind and the bad kind), surprises and excitement.  I knew we were a good fit.  You're grounded, calm, logical, patient and forgiving.  I'm spontaneous, emotional and zealous (read: neurotic/obsessive).  You're a black-and-white sort of fellow, and I live in the gray.

So much has changed over the last ten years.  We're different people than we were on June 1, 2002.  I don't claim to be an expert on making a marriage work (far from it!), but I will say this: I think the secret to making our marriage work has been to allow the other person to change, grow and evolve, and remember the commitment we made to love each other no matter what.  That no matter what has been put to the test plenty of times over the last ten years.  There are times I don't even see a glimpse of the people we used to be.  But then we spend an evening together on the couch, challenging each other to find songs on iTunes that remind us of when we were dating, and I am reminded that the people we used to be are still buried in there somewhere, and those people have helped us become who we are now.

Side note: I distinctly remember the moment I knew we had something that would last.  We had done our share of breaking up, taking a break, dating around... but we kept coming back to each other.  One day I was at your parents' house, and you were playing your guitar.  I wasn't really sure where our relationship stood, but when you took the time to re-tune your guitar so you could play "Daughter" by Pearl Jam, I knew we were on our way back to solid ground. 

That night on the couch reminded me that it is important to take time to acknowledge how far we've come in life, and to remember the person we each fell in love with all those years ago.  I didn't used to think staying married for ten years was that amazing of an accomplishment.  I just assumed most people stayed married.  I'm thankful for that idealistic mindset.  We have been blessed with such amazing examples of marriage from our parents.  We have certainly had plenty of bumps in the road that were big enough to throw us off course, but it has never been an option to either of us NOT to stay married. 

I woke up this morning expecting to feel different somehow, like hitting the ten-year mark would be something I could tangibly feel.  But it just felt like every other day.  Some people might think that is sad, but I don't.  It means we don't hold one day a year aside to appreciate each other.  I love that our relationship is just as important the other 364 days of the year as it is on June 1st.

I wanted to take the time today to let you know how much I love you, how much I respect you and how I am so thankful for you.  I have told you so many times before -- but it bears repeating: I love how you challenge yourself to always be better, achieve more and make your family proud.  Your character is impeccable.  Your love and forgiveness is undeserved, but wholeheartedly cherished.  Your ability to be taken seriously while still being someone who is fun to be around is amazing.  After nearly 17 years of knowing you, I still look at you wide-eyed, wondering how I am so lucky to have won your heart.

Thank you so much for being who you are, who God designed you to be.  Thank you for helping shape me into who I am, who God designed me to be.  Thank you so much for Maya.  We have accomplished a lot over the last ten years, but she is truly our greatest blessing.  I love the way you love her.  With her, you are both firm and kind, both a protector and a playmate, both serious and silly. There are so many things to worry about when you have a child.  I am so thankful that I will never have to worry about her having a father who loves her, protects her, encourages her, teaches her, and serves as an example for what she should look for in a husband someday.

Thank you for being my partner through this journey called life.  Can't wait to see what the next ten years bring.

All my love,

Molly